• laurendeluca87

When Anxiety Lies

Updated: Jan 2, 2019

You would not believe

The stories I've told myself

That have caused me such trouble

Stories about things

Such as glances, words, lack of words

I smile

On the outside

Showing you my best colors

But inside

My mind darts

From one angle to the next

Playing out possibilities

As if they were probable

Solving each one


With my quick mind


I want to know

For sure


Nothing will fall

Or falter


I haven’t


Or faltered

Before I know it

I’ve created

Another world

In which everything is in dissaray

That you can’t see

But I can feel

I’m short of breath

Convinced if only

I solve this one ”problem”

The world will be right again

But nothing is ever right

Yet there is a rightness to it all

So I’ve learned that this is

What I have trouble tolerating


I crave certainty

Where it does not live

These stories

Are my attempt

At easing my anxiety\

Yet instead of bringing me peace

They cause me harm

In the form of breathlessness

And frankly, self-destruction

What I’m learning is that

In these moments

I need to


Take a breath

Laugh kindly

At my thoughts

The outrageousness

How creative

I must be


For my heart

Is still perfectly intact

As is the moment

That I’m worrying about

Even if there’s a bit of falling or faltering

It‘s forgiven

And if it’s not

I’m okay

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

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